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Thoughts for the day...
Apologies for the odd Americanism!
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
What would have happened if Kuwait's main product was broccoli?
What's a synonym for Thesaurus?
What's brown and sticky? A stick.
What's shorter than a weekend? A vacation!
What's the speed of dark?
When all else fails, call Bill Gates at home.
When all else fails, read the manual.
When all is said and done, more is said than done.
When an old person dies, a library burns down.
When I want your advice, I'll beat it out of you!
When I want your advice, I'll give it to you!
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.
When in doubt, tell the truth.
When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing.
When liberals grow up they want to be conservatives.
When money speaks, truth keeps silent.
When puns are outlawed only outlaws will have puns.
When puns are outlawed, only outlaws will have puns.
When the chips are down, the buffalo's empty.
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
When vultures fly they're allowed carrion luggage.
When you see a snake, never mind where he came from.
When you wake up in the morning and nothing hurts you can be sure you're dead.
When you were born the doctor slapped your mother.
When you're in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
When you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
When your dreams turn to dust, vacuum.
When your IQ hits 28, sell!
Whenever I feel like exercising I lie down until the feeling passes.
Where can I find a synonym for thesaurus?
Where do bees go potty? At a BP station.
Where does the fire go when the fire goes out?
Where does the fire go when the fire goes out?
Where in the world does the guy who has everything put it?
Where is everything? All I typed was format c:.
Where law ends, tyranny begins.
Where there's a will there's a beneficiary.
Where there's a will, there's an attorney.
Where there's smoke, there's toast.
Where you've been means much less than where you're going.
Where's the
any
key?
Wherever you came from, you're not there now.
Which is the non-smoking lifeboat?
Which is worse, ignorance or apathy?
Which one is the fatherboard?
Who invited all these tacky people?
Who named you "Taste Police" anyway?
Who puts those "Thin Ice" signs out there?
Who should I call to exorcise software?
Who wrote the rules on how to act your age?
Why bother phoning a psychic? Let them phone you!
Why buy shampoo when real poo is still free?
Why can't DOS ever say "Excellent command or filename"?
Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why do you need a driver's licence to buy alcohol when you can't drink and drive?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold in petrol stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work in the mornings?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
