| Dormitory | Dirty Room |
| Clint Eastwood | Old West Action |
| A Telephone Girl | Repeating "Hello" |
| Evangelist | Evil's Agent |
| Desperation | A Rope Ends It |
| Do an angry hit | Tonya Harding |
| Slot Machines | Cash Lost in'em |
| Information Superhighway | Yow! Hi ho, I'm surfing Arpanet! |
| Mother-in-law | Woman Hitler |
| Funeral | Real Fun |
| The Detectives | Detect Thieves |
| A Gentleman | Elegant Man |
| Presbyterian | Best In Prayer |
| A Decimal Point | I'm a Dot in Place |
| Martin Scorsese | Screen is a storm |
| Statue of Liberty | Built to Stay Free |
| To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. | In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten. |
| Why shouldn't America go re-elect President Clinton in Ninety-Six? | He has a prime or cunning tendency to wildly solicit Internet sex. |
| George Bush | He bugs Gore |
| Leroy Newton Gingrich | Growing incoherently |
| Margaret Thatcher | That great charmer |
| The best things in life are free | Nail-biting refreshes the feet |
| "That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." Neil A. Armstrong | A thin man ran; makes a large stride; left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars! |
